Miss Starlink

Starlink, Your Ad Campaign Makes Me Feel Funny.

Take a moment. Stop laughing. Turn off CSI Miami.

OK Now cup your chin in the cradle of your fist Silver Fox and think, “What’s not right about my advertisement?”

I’ll tell you right now Don Darwish your ad has got two Lebs (one of whom is bulging to the left of his zipper). Let’s call them Jacques Sprat and Georges. They sit there thumbing their handys while they trap a woman betwixt them both you see. I get the distinct feeling the dirty old-man photographer picked up all three of these people in a hidden-floor hotel-club here and said, “Hey! Let’s make an ad.” and lured them all up to his ‘studio’.

You can tell from her body language (I know that don’t-touch-me-lean where you hover imperceptibly away from his armpit, willing all of your atoms to magnetically reject his) that she didn’t know what she was getting into when she was flattered into being a ‘model’ for a tech company.

She innocently looks on, taking his number in this innocuous hotel lobby with Taiwan-made Swedish furnishings in white adspace world.

I’m not gonna spooge about the politics of this image but I will say there is only one direction the Gulfi mind will go with this ad because sadly this is a familiar scene in the Arab world… albeit not one you want associated with your company’s poster presence unless you’re the Grand Hyatt…

And I’m sure…even if you don’t have a one-track mind preoccupied with Sex and the End of Days (good for you) you can guess what I mean.

I hope Lady Starlink burped in his face and deleted his number.

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