Nothing says Vin Diesel like Ed Hardy

Recently I decided to conduct a mean little exercise in character development.

I surveyed a cross-section of Gulfies asking them to respond Rorschach-style to the below images and to answer a few prompts ala a Proust-questionnaire about their hypothetical owner.

I particularly targeted those subjects who I knew to be rhinestone intolerant and sensitive to Axe-allergens.

The very first response I got was, “ewwwwwwww!” The second: “too trashy! way gay!”

I thought my little experiment was a failure…however after these bright young Khaleeji minds had some time to digest the questions I started receiving more metered responses, the best of which I’ve cut and pasted below. Among the choice nuggets is the coinage of the word ‘muhajadyke‘ by LCF.

Q. Where does this guy live? What’s his name? How old is he?

In his bedroom, not much there but a big screen trv and sound system. Big shower gel and cologne collection.

He lives in government housing. Aboudy. 17

She is a teen khalleji muhajadyke. Don’t know her name, but could be an ambiguous one ( those names that can apply to women, men or single cell asexual creatures, or an escargot).

Emirati, Hmoud or Soo Soo as his childhood friends used to call him. He’s 20.

Q. Has he ever been in love?

his greatest love is and always has been himself. although he frequently falls inlove with the good looks of some girls who fit the bill, arm candy, an extention of his own image


She is totally in love with her best friend.


Q. Where is he at Midnight on a Thursday?

Driving around scoping chicks and flaunting his sense of style that he feels is necessary to feel important and respected and loved.

Getting shai karag on the Corniche (I dont know what happens in the clubs any more, but his would be a Shirly Temple)

eating cheetos with his boyz

At her best friend’s house on a thursday night.

watching some spanish league football

Q. What does he look like? (i.e. Fat, tall, walks-with-a-limp etc.)

Sporty looking, slightly tall, long hair slinged back sometimes gelled and spiked up.

lean, ten tonnes of hair gel

petit eclair

She is slim, pretty, Joan Jett in 1989 haircut.

Skinny middle height long hair, sparse facial hair, zits braces

Q. If he could meet any celebrity who would it be? What’s his favorite movie?

He would meet Vin Diesel. His favorite movie is too fast too furious.

Vin Diesel in whatever Vin Diesel was in

fast and furious.

Either Jacki Chan or Vin Diesel

Q. Is he more likely to end up in jail or in university?

In university.

Uni definetly.

neither. but he is gonna be a star

In university.

University but on the bench

Q. What is his darkest secret?

That he is a homosexual.

ooh dont like to think about it…. maybe some sort of weird feminine grooming habit

he loves small cute animals like pink chicks they sell at souq wagif. his bedroom is filled with them. when they die he stuffs them and keeps them lined up on shelves.

Her darkest secret is that she’d like to make out with a boy.

poops his pants and he was raised by a maid who used to finger him for kicks

And lastly, a Special Treat Courtesy L.Kirchner, a MUST for our bedazzled friend here:

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